This one has (2002) written up in the corner but isn’t part of the title. It seems that this binder is a collection of song lyrics and poems that I wrote. I remember the day I wrote this one very well.
As I sat regarding a cheese grater
I thought of my friends who left me
While I was in mood to be in company
I thought of what my life was becoming
And I definately wanted no part of it
I thought of what tomorrow would bring
I wouldn’t be the same
It was my own choice
And I am to blame
I thought of a letter in my pocket
A letter I could only partially read
My guilt presses my toes to the windowsill
But I won’t die
To battle with no regrets
A battle I want no part of
Yet I will fight for my own cause
As I am the only one fighting
I refuse to fall
But I fear I will
I see myself in the kitchen
Myself and no other
As we sit there laughing
And talking of old times
We talk to myself of tomorrow
Such poorly made paths
But the boots I wear are good
And they shall live to see another day
I reach to my pocket for a written note
And prepare for
I am a joke. I am one to scoff at for his disformity, conformity, and his wrongdoings.
I stand up for one belief.
You fucker. You are an abomination to God. Do you not believe in the transfiguration of Jesus’s body and blood?
You ask do you!? I shall give you the answer you deserve to hear. The answer that I have longed to shout! There is no god!!
You, you ask. Why would he do that?
I, I say I do not know. Yet I know! Why do I wear a ‘guardians of paradise’ shirt at this foul hour? Because Justin wore such a shirt as this one. What you ask does Justin have to do with this? Everything! What does Justin represent to me? Death. Death at it’s fullest form. It’s only form. Wherefore art thou God? Nowhere dost he hence lay forth.
As a famous man once said. E=mc^2 The E represents energy. m represents mass which is anything and
Second one is a binder of loose papers and the first page is undated, but it’s from high school so it would have been between the start of 2002 up to the end of March or so in 2003. Actually, Mike was a freshman when I was a sophomore so that narrows it down to fall 2002 to spring 2003. Typed as written below the bar.
Sittin’ in front of a dumpster
Wet and smells like barf
The stench of urine contaminating me
And I think Maddy’s gonna fart
Maddy’s singing, destructing my ears
I think I’m going deaf
Music of U2 is killing Guy
As he complains how much they suck
Mike is a gay faggot!
He’s playing with a cheerleading tool
Dancing around like a ballirena
On the diving board of a pool
Jackie’s using the bathroom
Park district guys try to watch
Maddy’s listening to Beatles
While Guy waits for 4th
Like all journals of sorts that I’ve kept over the years, I see this as becoming a failed one. Let’s see if I can dig one of those up..
I was pretty depressed all day thinking about my present situation and the current state of affairs of my life. The kids really helped me snap out of it though. Children are very perceptive and mine never cease to amaze me with their insight and the things they say.
We didn’t end up getting around to the brownie cookies, but we still had some fun playing games, coloring, and eating together. I read them Thumbelina for bed which Dylan fell asleep to before I was done. Avi wanted me to read the dictionary to her after the story, so we read partway through the A’s.
Frank showed me Omegle last night which was pretty entertaining. Good waste of time when you’re bored I guess. I kept yelling GoldFish at people and sending them links to videos, so here ya go:
Had an argument with the missus is all. It’s getting old at this point and all this continual arguing is really just pushing me further away to where at this point I don’t even feel like considering any future of a potential relationship of any kind. Ugh.
I’ve got the kids again. I had a lot of fun making dinner with Avi and with both of them having dinner ’round the table and shi’. We’re making cookies in the morning. Brownie cookies. Mmmhmm.
Shoes that are apparently no longer sold in America that took me about 2 hours of online searching to find. They’re now only made and sold in Japan? And are $145 without tax, shipping, or any extra customs charges that they may tack on. Fuck me. But I’m still gonna buy them, I don’t care. Well, ya know, once I get a job and money and all that.
Figured out the CSS issue and it’s now fixed on all pages.
Well, once the web cache refreshes anyway.
Ugh, I’m getting annoyed that not all pages are using the CSS doc correctly. I’m probably missing some elements and I’m getting so annoyed due to missing a couple of keys on my computer. As well, it generally takes the site a few minutes (5-15) to display changes so that’s adding to the annoyance. I’m gonna stop for now. Later.